Author: Gus McIntosh
Working in London in my late twenties, I had a colleague in a different part of the business who I really, really didn’t like. I can’t remember why exactly, but his hypocritical arrogance and my youthful impetuousness no doubt had equal parts to play. He would frequently tell me what to do, and I wouldn’t listen (i.e. couldn’t hear) because I just didn’t respect him. After one particularly annoying interaction I was talking to Frank, my boss, who said something that has stuck with me ever since: “Gus, even f***ing assholes have good feedback from time to time”.
Over time this has become somewhat of a self-insight epiphany, and I find myself frequently coming back to the concept in executive coaching conversations. The broader realisation, that I eventually gained, was that there’s useful feedback out there for you all the time, it’s up to you whether you’re listening. Obviously, you don’t have to act on (or even believe) every bit of feedback you hear, but you do need to be listening!
Listening matters, because being open to feedback helps you build strategic self-insight and awareness. That’s about going beyond knowing your own story about yourself; it’s about tuning in and getting curious about the stories others tell about you. If you hope to have any shred of impact as a leader one of the most important things to know is where your capabilities end and others’ capabilities begin.
Here’s three things to think about for developing better strategic self-awareness and insight:
1. Pause, Observe, Reflect
Self-awareness is the foundation of self-insight. It means understanding your emotions, motivations and behaviours, and knowing the impact these all have on other people. There’s no “right” way to cultivate self-awareness, but you can’t do it without being at least somewhat reflective. Some people practice being mindful, which is really just pausing for a moment to observe, consider and reflect on what’s going on for you; right here, right now. You could try a diary, or maybe capturing some reflections about what you’re thinking and feeling, or just have a ponder on the commute home for 5mins. You need to get equally curious however, about the impact your behaviour and style is having on others.
2. Identifying Your Capabilities
This is where you need to really gear up those listening skills. While it’s important to have reflected on your own sense of how you impact others; it’s critical to also get their perspective on this.
Knowing your strengths and weaknesses allows you to play to your strengths, and not fall into the trap of trying to do everything as a leader. It’s important to address any weakness that may be detracting from others’ overall perceptions of you, but it’s not about trying to be great at everything. Just because you have a weakness doesn’t automatically make it a ‘work on /development' area. Some weaknesses are fine just staying that way; so long as you have strategies to work around it and / or work with complementary others.
There are some great tools you can use to gain useful insights, like personality assessment and 360-degree surveys but do remember, the quality of the tools makes a difference in the quality of the insights. Also, have a think about your past successes and failures, to see if you can identify both why you did well and why you struggled. Ask colleagues and others who can provide objective insights what they think your strengths and weaknesses are. And take a lesson from my book, try harder to listen to feedback when it comes from people you don’t like!
3. Leverage Your Insights
While strategic self-insight is about better understanding yourself in relation to your leadership role; leadership impact and results only come when you do something with that understanding. As a leader, that means using the understanding of your strengths and weaknesses to organise work and achieve results through other people, differently than what you might’ve done by default. Define clear, achievable collective goals and delegate to better align with your strengths and weaknesses. Leverage your strengths, not only in the delivery of outcomes, but also in coaching and mentoring others. Consider challenges as opportunities for others to step up and take charge, rather than as threats to your own competence as a leader.
Summary
On of the most impactful things you can do as a leader is develop your strategic self-awareness and insight, then act on this insight. This can’t be an “event” either, it needs to be something you embed into your everyday leadership work. As the context evolves and as you develop as a leader, your insights will change too.
Continuing this work and doing things differently as a result will make you a much better leader, and probably a much better person too.
Photo credits: Unsplash.com (Yeshi Kangrang)
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